Well, for once on a Bank Holiday weekend we were absolutely blessed with the weather for the inaugural inter club 20/20 Thrash/Bash and Tumble meet of the 2018 season. Glorious sunshine, sun beating down, not a cloud in the sky and the ground in beautiful condition. All set fair for a festival of cricket – and then the players arrived!!

As we were short of the 22 required for a ‘proper’ two sided affair it was agreed that a pairs game would provide enough practice and fun for everyone. So 7 pairs each batting for 5 overs and trying to get the highest score possible through mainly ‘twatting’ the ball as hard as one can! However, 5 runs were deducted for every time a wicket fell – Baz and Jimbo (Yee-haa!) Little requiring assistance from Excel spreadsheets and calculators such was the algorithmic journey they embarked upon! More of that later. So here is a poetic precis of each pairs endeavours;

Fielding & Longman (or the twatter and the batter!)
After a tentative first over bowled by Ollie Lincoln who was bang on the money and only went for one, Nick and Matt ‘opened up’ in over two. Over 3 was even more productive despite the loss of the first wicket of the day to the guile of Mr Fishburn. A steady 4th over from ‘Way Aye, Bonnie lad’ Walker set the scene for James to come on for the last over. A few lusty blows from Nick and 15 from the over took the lads to a very creditable 40. A tough target to aim for. Highlight was Matt’s drive through extra cover – pure class! No idea where that came from!

Bird & Patel (The Cheeky Chappie and The Snail)
The two RGS pals came to the wicket having swapped bats with each other??!! Guess they wanted an excuse for any poor shots. Kishan appeared to be opening the batting as if it were his first Test match and he had the whole 5 days to make an impression – first pie up from Baz blocked! Second over from Pete is only really notable because Cheeky Charlie ramps him for a couple. 3rd over sees what can only be described as a very sad caught and bowled to Mr Fielding. Shaun bowls a tidy over number 4 and only goes for 2. Then Way Aye tales a wicket with his first ball of the final over after which Charlie twats a few fours and falls over in the process! A below par 15 for the RGS boys. Highlight was Charlie’s ramp.

The Lincoln Boys Joe & Ollie – The Good Guys
I really favoured this pairing. Lovely lads with loads of talent and class. But again very tentative initially with Matt only going for two runs – one no ball and one wide!! Will Ryman bowls a tidy over of his own brand of spin and gets a wicket last ball as does Baz with his own brand of Forrest Gump’s chocolate box – you never know what you’re going to get!! The boys finish with a decent score of 16. Highlight was a lovely half volley turned through mid wicket by Ollie.

Pete and Steve – The Culture Club
Eventful first couple of balls from Charlie has him on a hat trick ball to Pete. Bird Snr is shouting ‘bowl to your wallet son’ knowing full well that tradition dictates that you buy a jug when you get a hat trick. Pete deals with the slower ball easily and guides it through gully for 2. But -3 after one over. Will comes back with spin and takes another wicket in the 2nd over and the boys are left on zero after two overs. However, some god running between wickets and a 6 off his son’s last ball from Pete (Boo, hiss!) takes them to 10. A tight 4th over by Joe leaves them with a mountain to climb to challenge the leaders but Pete is up for it and although Matt takes another wicket Pete hits his second six off the last ball to finish on 17. Highlight was Pete’s two well timed 6’s.

Baz & James – Two Jokers in every Pack
I’m struggling here!! Let me report firstly that these two guys play the game how it should be played. ‘What the hell?’ - we are here to smash the ball around and it doesn’t matter if we get out. Do or die! Suffice it to say that every bowler took a wicket and the Lincoln family took a total of 7 wickets in 18 balls!!! Highlight was Pete’s hat trick! But hats off to Baz and James for really having a go!
Shaun and Andrew – The Northern Alliance – Secretary and Bean Counter
This was the most ‘stable’ of the pairings in my opinion and it proved so. A steady start, clever stroke play, good running and a couple of fours. Only one wicket fell (well done Pete) and the pair ended up on a very respectable 25. Nothing flash, nothing ugly, nothing rash but STEADY. And I like that. People you can rely on as a safe pair of hands. Nice. The stage was set for the final pairing. Highlight – wasn’t one!

Will & Ollie – The Young Guns
So we just knew what was going to happen. Ollie would support Will the best way he could as Will decided there was only one way to win the competition. Hit the ball high and long and get as many sixes as you can. And so it came to pass, but it was close!! Pete took a tremendous ‘catch’ on Will’s first attempted 6 but unfortunately he foot faulted on the boundary line and what might have been a wicket down was in fact given as a six. Seven sixes later and a few singles and a double and Ollie and Will win the day. Well done boys! Highlight: Will’s hitting!!

The players and spectators enjoyed some great entertainment and the competition was played in a very good spirit. My only disappointment was Lukey didn’t bowl…….oh and the fact that Baz has clearly not listened to one single word of my coaching. Thanks to Baz for organising and to Bridget and Rachel for keeping the bar going and helping with scoring, cleaning and all the other stuff that seems to happen by magic. It is very much appreciated.

There was also one super highlight when Daniel ran in from the Tilson end and bowled The Cheeky Chappie middle stump although his foot may have been over the popping crease on delivery!

Enjoy the weather!!
Charlie and Birdy